love and vulnerability

Just read this today and wow!

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

school memories

A lot of times in my middle grade school years, the school I went to would receive bomb threats. You see, it was a Catholic school in a city where almost half of the residents believed in a different faith. It should have been no problem as the school was open for all children, irrespective of their religion. What matters most was educating the young minds to be better citizens of the world. But I digress...

Well, there had been memorable experiences because of that time. The Girl Scout march practices would only be confined in front of the cathedral within the school and most often, it gets cancelled due to the threats. That would lead us to eventually to just play marbles in the dirt in the parade grounds. These were moments of threat awareness but we still found ways to have fun as long as we do not leave the school grounds without our parents or guardians.

But one day, the threat must have been so grave because we were all confined to our classrooms during the middle of the day. We were not allowed to go out and the teachers were there to guard us. The school was in lockdown and I guess, the lines were so busy contacting all parents and guardians to inform them that we needed to be picked up from school. I remember, my dad left the office once he heard about the news to come pick up my sister and I. Until this moment, I will never forget looking out of our classroom window on the third floor and see our dad arriving. I know I was glad to see him but I do not remember feeling that scared. Maybe I was. Or maybe, I was just looking forward to going home early. I do not remember.

 *****

I remember, one time, when there was a big fire in a Muslim community, we can see the dark smoke from our third floor (or was it second?) classroom. Then suddenly, one of my best friends just started crying. It was because they lived there and she was scared for her mom and brother who were at their house. We could not do anything for her but just stay beside her. Later, her mom arrived to pick her up.

*****

We watched National Geographic's The Cave last night. It makes me wonder, what would I do when I am placed in that position? I am even older than the doctor in the movie.

glory

Something I heard today was really interesting. In today's homily, I heard about glory in Christ's context: Glory is not in riches, nor in popularity. Glory is in trying to love. A man works double jobs because he loves his family and he loves his students = that is glory. A team supporting its rival because what matters is to inspire - that is glory. A losing captain accepting defeat and still playing to provide for her family - that is glory. 

A very interesting way to define glory in Christ's terms.

And as an assignment, we were asked to cite an example of glory. That leads me to the heartbreaking Mr. Sunshine that I just finished watching.

There is glory in fighting for one's country because you love it, even in the face of defeat.

There is glory in supporting someone you love, even if it means giving up your life.

And there is glory in fighting on, for the people and country that you love, even when they are already gone.

And there is glory in moving on to honor those who have long been gone because you respect and loved them.

There is always glory in trying to love.

from the ledge

i love going to our neighbor's house when i was a kid. my sister does, too. and that house, has a ledge you can reach from a bench. one day, my sister and i were at our neighbor's and i was on the ledge. my sister wanted to go on up and insisted for me to hmmm... maybe leave, or give her space? i don't remember. but what i remember is falling down on the concrete floor and when i opened my eyes, the world was revolving so fast i can't fix my sight to one thing. i screamed and all i heard was my sister crying for me not to die. "please, please, don't die." we were not even in grade school then. i realized that time when she started crying that blood was pooling behind my head and our neighbor had to rush me to the clinic. my brother, who was in the house, was informed of where we were going and when i returned home, i was bald behind my back with a couple of stitches on it.

that was pretty scary, but i don't remember being pampered when i arrived home. my mother, who just arrived from an errand, was so worried though...

chili and gameboy

when i was a kid, i did not like spicy food. that was why my brother, after putting chili in my soy sauce, got spanked by our dad when i started crying over the spicy food in my mouth. little did they know that in my brother's back pocket was the gameboy that he borrowed from his friend. it got damaged when our dad spanked him so they had to buy a new one to replace it. my poor brother! he got spanked and instead of getting a gameboy, had to give it to his friend to replace that was damaged...

act of love

after visiting the strawberry farms at benguet, my mother came back to the hotel with muddy sandals. later, i saw my father in the restroom, holding one of the pairs of my mother's sandals, cleaning it - wiping the mud off the sandals carefully, saying "so that your mama wouldn't have to walk with dirty sandals."

such act of love makes my heart full. and makes me wish that one day, i will have someone who loves me as much as my father loves my mother.

remembering this today on 3 March 2020


there is always something to celebrate, be grateful for...

fun times with family and Filipino food while we were home away from home =)

remembering this day on 10 March 2020

It might be sunny but the weather is very cold. Or I might not just be used to it. I was even told that I'm dressed for winter weather. LOL.

Happy to spend the day with my loved ones =)

View of San Diego from the Cabrillo Monument

fiery red skies

What a fine view of a fiery red sky downtown late in the afternoon....

P.S. I just remembered one book that I like to read over and over - it describes a world where red skies mean a violation committed in the world beyond life...

good morning breakfast

So happy to be back at Oceanside after almost a year. And I was brought to a really nice place where they offer our kind of breakfast. So happy this morning.

Funny thing, though. When the waitress arrived with our food, she immediately placed the heavier breakfast in front of him while mine was the lighter one. I just really had to comment (jokingly) if that really means I cannot eat a hearty breakfast? She was apologetic and asked if she placed the orders wrong. We said if was fine and after she left, exchanged our plates.

remembering this day on 5/24/2019

hello, there!

we finally arrived and taking things slowly as our parents are in jetlagged mode. i think i am, too. my one of many wishes for this trip though is for me not to have an allergic attack. i am not sure if the meds my doctor prescribed to me are enough to last me until we go home... but anyways...

we are here and we are so glad to meet the newest member of our family and she is adorable!

our parents are just so in love and i don't think we can take her away from them for a while... unless they're overtaken by their sleepiness ;)

one of the first few things we did today was to show our parents what a pumpkin patch looks like. we headed to one patch near the house and its so worth it to see everyone enjoying and having a great time. of course, we took plenty of pictures to remember this first time for our parents...

maybe we will do pumpkin carving next time

written on 14/04/2019 to remember this date by

just an observation

after almost twelve hours of travel, we finally reached LAX. my mother was kinda apprehensive while on queue for the immigration and customs check because the officers were so (not strict, because we can understand strict)... unfriendly? (not in the job description)... maybe the words i can think of right now are abrupt and unaccommodating. we can see people asking questions so they can answer the questions in the machine properly, but most of them would just bellow, "read!" to my mother who only traveled this first time, it can be pretty daunting. but the customs officer was nice and spoke in a mellow tone. i wish everyone would be like that. one can do work efficiently without screaming at other people (feels like one is making others feel worse). imagine having traveled for more than twelve hours and when you arrive at your destination, you get bellowed at. but then again, not part of their job description to be nice (but i think being human, one is expected to be kind and helpful).

written on 14/04/2019 to remember the date by

on to the next leg

so my parents were so impressed with the size, cleanliness, and huge serving of food (with side dishes) at the incheon airport after coming back from our transit tour. inside, i decided to take a shower (because the airport has a shower facility complete with towel, hot shower, and all the things you need to refresh from and for a long journey). my father did not believe me and decided only to freshen up. when i was done, i was surprised that they were not out yet and my mother told me later that my father was so impressed with the space of the shower room that it made him comfortable to take a shower in a public area. i am so glad my parents could experience this.

my parents were also happy to see a short cultural show and hoped that one day, they could also witness the same in our own airports. it was just an exhibit of korean culture and for first time travelers like my parents, it was a good showcase of what one can expect from korea.

so see, airplane food isn't that bad - i liked the olive oil/balsamic vinegar dip. i didn't know that they can come in small packages =)

written on 2/5/2019 to remember things by

first autumn

... of my parents.

they were just so impressed with the colors south korea had shown them while on a free tour during our long layover at incheon (we visited the jeondeungsa temple and deokjinjin fortress). even though they cannot understand half of what the guide was saying, but their interest was peaked by the structures and very colorful trees. it was also their first time to see a persimmon (mine as well!) and they can't get over how the tree was leafless but the fruits were flourishing.

great first experience for my parents (and I), right? =)

my father could not help but ask me everytime to take his pictures and then calling my mother to have theirs together as well. they were so cute - even holding hands while going up the hill. that right right, at that moment, is a relationship goal.

ps my parents even liked airline food! =) but i must say, having traveled on that airline a couple of times, i can say that their food is actually good.

written on 2/5/2019 to remember things by (Kung Hei Fat Choi!)

off to a new adventure

... this time with my parents!

so happy to be able to bring them to their first international travel, to be able to have this time to enjoy each others' company while we all still can... i am grateful.

it was even cool to see my mother, for the very first time, wear a pair of comfortable sneakers in shade of pink =P

written on 2/5/2019 to remember things by

more time

I can't help but wish that there should be more hours in a day so I can do all the things I want and still be able to get enough sleep. As it is, I just realized (after making a 24-hour graph of my weekday activities) that I only have about three hours in one day as personal relaxation time! An with that personal time, I would have wanted to do a lot: garden, bake, try a new recipe, do or learn crafts, read a book, listen to music, watch tv, play on my xbox, exercise, and most especially, time to spend with my family. How I wish that my waiting and commute time be lessened to a more reasonable time. My commute to the office with no traffic should only be 45 minutes at most and waiting time should be zero. Oh well. How I wish I can maximize my time (I read, watch shows while on commute but that does not count as personal time but just whiling away time) and be more productive!

PS And as I write this, I am waiting for our meeting to start.

travel videos

So I had been thinking about this a long time - making videos of my travel pictures so I can share it with others. I was inspired to do some after seeing my cousin's really beautiful videos.

I started doing some through Windows 10 photo app but it is so limited with its editing options. The old Windows Movie Maker is so much better! However, I am not an expert so I am glad for its theme options and click and drag functionality. But I how I wish I can do more, especially with adding texts with animations.

I tried the free movie maker, Shotcut, and it looks easy to do after watching its basics tutorial. It will take up much time to master though and time is what I do not have for this activity. And I just realized, with these types of software (okay, app), I need to know about music! I should know about music that goes well with what I want to show. Omy! I just realized that editing is too much work and I am in awe of those who do this.

So for now, I am glad of the super basic theme-based movies I made.

I hope you enjoy this one!

reflections

Lately, I have been feeling a little down because of what's been happening at this point in my life. It feels like there are a lot more disappointments than good things going my way. But when I reflect on it, I know and I believe, always, that when bad things happen, it is because there will be something better. Maybe not in terms of the things I really want in the first place, but of things that is actuall good for me. I will just have to be patient and let God. Always, let go, and let God.

Sometimes, when I think of the things not going my way lately, I think of some stuff that brings out the rebel in me. I accept then, that I am a bad person for thinking about things and people in a bad way, but I always try to accept and still show a positive attitude towards other people who are making progress more than me. Maybe I am a fake person? But then again, I just don't want them to feel bad just because I feel bad. I just want to be positive always.

In all these reflections, I just try to let go, and not worry about things I have no control over. Things will fall into place (though it sounds so cliche). I will just have faith in God and let his miracle work on me.

Amen.

PS So I have a new software that makes me able to create short videos of my past travels. Nothing fancy but it makes me happy. So when I feel overwhelmed, I just face the screen and create a new video. Maybe I should post some here?

Years ago, someone called me persistent.

I guess, I am.

I will not budge, until I get the answer I want.

I will call you, text you, remind you, until you give me a reply.

I will insist, until you say yes (or no).

So yes, I guess, I am persistent.

another long vacation trip

 *posting this on 01/02/2022 to fill up the missing parts of the blog (and for me to remember things by)

I am excited to be able to get a three-week vacation this year and it's a great setup because all the people I want to see is located in just one place, only less than three hours away either north or south!

Christmas angels along the NAIA 1 corridor going to the departure gates

Of course, since my flight has a long layover at South Korea, I went out of the airport to join some of their free transit tours ---

Had to climb a lot of steps to reach this place at the Heungrunsa Temple

View of the city from the Heungrunsa Temple (after climbing up a lot of steps!)

Steep climb to this monument in honor of the Incheon Landing Operation 

Really old tree at the Yonggungsa Temple in Incheon

my only airplane view photo as the first leg of my trip was in the middle of the night. this is already arriving in LA

Welcome again. 

Welcome to new experiences in this country.