fears and getting old

today, i went to subic to take my refresher course for my offshore emergency training. this was just a one day event where we only had to do the practical test. when i did this four years ago, i was pretty excited and couldn't wait to go on and do all those underwater capsize things and fire escape test. it was all so new to me and felt i was invincible.

but not today.

underwater during the capsize helicopter simulation, i panicked. four years ago, i knew exactly where i am inside out of the simulator. today, i was totally lost. it was a series of little things that if i hadn't really kept my head, i would have drowned. first, i had trouble opening my window; second, i couldn't get out of the window until i realized that i didn't unfasten my seatbelt. when i figured it all out - all in split seconds - i was disoriented. i didn't know where was up anymore and had to swim away from the simulator as fast as i can without knowing if i was swimming up or down. all i could think of, "where was the rescue?!"

it was scary and i don't know if i could do it again.

four years ago, i was raving to do it over and over. what's more was that, i had a girl companion who was just as crazy as me. there were only the two of us in the simulator. now that i have more (guy) companions, i was more scared.

i was not alone today though. my swedish classmate (there were only three of us), was also feeling crazed. he was lost.

the same thing happened during the fire escape exercise. i went in the building alone with only my hands and feet guiding me; the second time even blindfolded. it was just a matter of keeping my panic at bay or i would have lost it there too when i couldn't find the lever to open the door. "if this is true life, would i faint here?," that was what i was thinking. when i got out, the only thing i could only say is "i'm really getting old, i'm scared of doing this already!"

but everything turned out very well. i am just so happy to have good instructors and very, very fun and supportive classmates. so to lars and demi, thanks guys. i think i lived up to part of my bargain - i didn't slow us down and were able to go home before 3p! :)

beauty raw ako

walking along st. andrew street on my way back to the coach station, i had to stop for a red light in one of its side street. across the road, i glimpsed three guys just coming out of a pub and one of them was a bit tipsy. when the light turned to green, i saw the guys crossing the street towards me. before i can get off the street though, one of the guys stopped and tapped me on the shoulders and said,

"you are very beautiful."

i was stunned speechless for a while and then i replied,

"why thank you!" and gave him a big grin. then i started walking towards the coach station again.

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why i love edinburgh. 

and i know for a fact that it wasn't the tipsy guy who said that to me. unfortunately, i couldn't remember how he looked but i remembered that he was a bit tall (but not too tall) and a bit chubby guy - just the way i like it! :D

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note: return ticket (london victoria to edinburgh) the first time i was there cost me around 80GBP.

122

i am not a bowler but for this year's annual company bowling competition, my friends and i formed our team again. last year, we agreed on just having fun but when we saw that we could hit the pins, we were trying to cheer everybody on so we could get into the finals. we didn't but we had a lot of fun. i scored a bit less than a 100 and it was my personal best (from my days of duckpin bowling LOL).

it was the same for this year, we went to play a competitive fun game. and i scored my ---- my personal best:

122!

maybe next year, when i get to play again, i can score more.

or.... would anyone want to join me in a bowling game soon? :)